A Novelist’s Guide to Side Character Survival
by Unknown
Summary
Chu Zu: “So, I just have to tweak their personalities, right? That’s my specialty!”
First novel—
📖 Reader A: “You can dumb down a villain, but don’t expect your readers to be dumb too. Is that so hard to understand?”
📖 Same Reader A, later: “Holy shit, holy shit, HOLY SHIT! It was a mastermind’s scheme within a scheme within a SCHEME?! Grandpa Zu, I WAS WRONG! I SHOULDN’T HAVE SPOKEN SO LOUDLY!!!”
Second novel—
📖 Reader B: “Enough with this forced character setting. No matter how many times you repeat that he’s a ‘cute loyal dog,’ all I see is a bootlicker—a pathetic one that doesn’t even bark.”
📖 Same Reader B, later: “I TAKE IT BACK! He’s an invincible, sunshine-bright, loyal big dog! Where can I adopt one? A-ZU! LET ME RAISE YOU!!”
Third novel—
📖 Reader C: “Is the author’s life really that miserable? Do you have to create a character this venomous and unbearable? If you’ve hit a creative block, maybe just go get a real job?”
📖 Same Reader C, later: “F**K! LORD ZU, I’M SO SORRY! I’M AN UTTER FOOL!”
Fourth novel. Fifth. Sixth…
Chu Zu: So? My acting might be so-so, but I did a decent job fixing them, right?
System: [“…DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A ‘SIDE CHARACTER’ IS?! HOW DOES TURNING THEM INTO MASSIVELY POPULAR FAN FAVORITES COUNT AS A SIDE CHARACTER?!”]